Wednesday, November 26, 2008

INGRID MÅNNEITRÅP

Did you get that? Translated, it says "Ingrid Moneytrap", otherwise known as my Volvo. Just when everything seemed right, the power of three has reared it's ugly head and paid a visit, bringing tragedy, contempt, and hatred with it. Nearly Armageddon-Esq in size.

Here's Part One:
Last Tuesday we ventured over to the local oil change establishment. Against my better judgement, I allowed them to replace the wiper blades.
As I was relaxing in the lobby watching "Cars" for the third time this year (it's on a continuous loop - I feel so sorry for the employees - water boarding pales in comparison) I glance over to see Captain Courageous attempting to replace the wiper blade. Had he had aforementioned hero's powers (even just a little) he would have not dropped the wiper assembly sans blade onto the windshield. An unholy thud emanated from the garage. Upon quick inspection, Captain Courageous determined that nothing happened and continued on his mission; two more blades to go. I basked in the false sense of security that flowed forth.
I paid for the yet unknown indiscretion and proceeded on my journey. As I pulled onto the road, the golden hue of the afternoon sun filling my field of vision as I merrily made my way home. Wait, what the????!!!!! Is that? Is that a CRACK!! U-TURN! I feel my blood pressure rise as, again, I pull into the local oil change establishment (nka La isla de los Imbéciles). I eyeball Captain Courageous who, surprisingly, is already making his way to me. I describe to him how life as I know it was going in a positive direction that day and that it had been forever tarnished and stained by his ineptitude at such a menial task. The young Captain's response, "I didn't know if that was there before or not" would have reduced a lesser individual to violence.
As I waited outside pondering the meaning of justifiable homicide, the good Captain returned to inform me that Mission Control would have my windshield replaced at no cost to me (duh). Learn from my misfortune. If it's advertised as an oil change establishment do not take them up on any offer for anything else. You'll only end up disappointed.

Stay tuned for Part Two...

4 comments:

KF-in-Georgia said...

Just checking: This really was an oil change place, right? Not the quick-fix auto depot run by the three stooges?

I just want to know how much I need to worry when I take my antique in to Larry, Moe, and Curly. (Larry, Moe, and Curly have been known to take two hours for an oil change.)

Addie said...

Could this be why G insists on changing the oil himself? As great as your misfortune was, I really enjoyed reading about it!

Addie

Stephen said...

Kathy - This was an authentic oil change facility.

Addie - Probably. They've never gone wrong on the oil, but they minor in all other things.

Zan said...

Stephen- We recently sold our old Volvo, which incidentally was a great car - still running well at 200,000+ miles, but we always found we were sorry if we let anyone touch it that wasn't a Volvo mechanic. Now you'd think anyone could change the oil, but I think the Swedes (OK Ford now) program all their cars so they jink all repair and maintenance work not done by a Volvo Certified Mechanic.

I can't wait to read part 2.