Have You Tried Moving?

While I'm not in sales, one of my job functions puts me face to face with our customers. It's inevitable. I'm usually standing on the side of the road staring at a utility pole, deep in thought. Out of the corner of my eye I see a vehicle pull in behind my work truck. I do a quick check of the area. Am I in someone's yard? Did I eat onions for lunch? Will someone hear me if I scream? Working in a rural area it's not out of the equation to be turned into fertilizer and deposited in the pasture across the road. Are cows big fans of Soylent Green? I don't really want to find out. I can typically expect only a handful of conversations:


1. What are you doing here?


2. You're not putting that on my property.


3. Public don't own this, I DO! *spit* (actual grammar used in this re-creation)


4. We'll see about that.


5. My neighbor has it, why can't I?


6. My personal favorite - The life story - How did they know that was exactly the reason I drove all the way out here??


So, I wasn't surprised to have a visitor yesterday while I was pre-surveying a job. It was in the morning (breath relatively minty fresh) and a quick look around assured me that my screams would be heard. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy talking with most of our customers, but you always have an exit strategy.

Customer: "I'm tired of dial-up and I've been trying for months to get DSL and "they" keep telling me I can't get it. They have it across the street." - Aha, good old number 5!

Good, I say to myself. He said "they" and not "you". He's not ready to place the blame on my shoulders, yet. Better not come back with my sarcastic response of "Have you tried moving across the street??".

Does everybody remember the hot new thing decades ago? Dial-up Internet!! Yeah, the sound of raccoons fighting off a pack marauding hyenas reverberating through your Caleco every time you fired up that modem. Ah, memories...

Remember that tv show The Land That Time Forgot? He lived in the neighborhood that technology bypassed. Almost everyone that didn't live on his street could get anything better than what he had. Now, when I make the follow-up phone call to break the bad news, I usually don't deliver that gem to them. I got tired of the profanity-laden onslaught that ensues. However, this man was in luck. We're going to see if we can include his neighborhood on an upgrade we have on the schedule.

Who knows, maybe we'll actually deliver someone's world after all.