Autopilot

The blog has been on cruise control while I rally the troops in my head. There's been a lot of things going on lately that pulled me away for one reason or another.

Although, it may just be the Sloth in me.

Curse you fourth deadly sin. Curse you...

The good weather last weekend allowed me to get back on the van pimping project I started last month. I finally cut the last panel for the remaining section of the wall. I also have the "rough draft" of a platform to store our extra crates and x-pens. Couple of tweaks here and there and it's ready for finishing. I have one gripe, though. I wish I owned a planer/jointer. It is so hard to find the right material to build everything straight and true. It would be nice to have something with straight edges and corners once in a while. Lowe's sure isn't helping me, though. They just kicked a nugget to me in the form of a gift card, although they left a couple zero's off of it. Just enough to draw me into the store (like that's hard) but not enough to realize the dream. I hope to get back to it this weekend, but we may be rather busy.




On a more painful note, my Volvo, Ingrid, as been admitted once again to the Grim Reaper's La Casa automotora de Separación Financiera. She's been hemorrhaging black gold for the past week and the diagnosis isn't good. As soon as I heard, "The leak seems to be coming from a sealed component", my heart sank. Why can't it be, "Hey it looks like the drain plug was loose", or something like that? I may have to take her for a long drive out to the middle of nowhere one of these days...




Finally, to end on a finishing note similar to nails on chalkboard.....yeah, you just imagined that, didn't you? My portable hard drive is now a bona-fide Illinois Governor. Yep, it's corrupt. I'm hoping to find an unconventional (cheap) way to recover some important pictures and files off of it, so I'm open to any suggestions you might have. I've already done an inquiry at the local nerd brigade and the recovery fee is mighty steep.

INGRID MÅNNEITRÅP - Part Två

Sunday was an absolutely gorgeous day here. I took Ingrid out to pick up scrap cardboard so I could make forms to cut the paneling for the new van. She needed a bath and the new quickie wash just opened down the street. Perfect! After the quick $4 spritz we were off. A brand new windshield is certainly noticeable. Everything is clear and crisp. It's as if I'm in a new automobile.

However, all was not well in Swedesville.

Ingrid minced no words and brought the calamity of the situation to my attention immediately. There it was, glaring at me. The sharp contrast of orange on black left nothing to chance. The message that means everything yet divulges nothing at the same time. The feared "Check Engine Light".

I quickly ran through possible scenarios and their closely related financial vacuums. I opted for the quasi-expertise of the code reader at the auto parts store. I had a doomsday event percolating in the back of my mind, hoping not to be proven correct. The last two times I stopped by to donate to his kid's college fund, my mechanic (aka Grim Reaper) alluded to the fact that there was an overbearing evil lurking in Ingrid's shadows. The code reader's findings washed the juggernaut of despair across my bright and cheery facade, reducing it to rubble.

Catalyst System Efficiency Below Threshold

So, Monday morning I paid a visit to the Grim Reaper who confirmed my misfortune and that Ingrid would need a new catalytic converter. Unfortunately for me, Ingrid's composition does not allow for inferior product. No, she would need a replacement from the land of OEM. I felt my wallet cry a little inside. The only silver tint to the dark cloud of monetary reduction was the labor cost, a paltry $112.50. I took Ingrid home on Tuesday. Don't you hate having work done that improves neither the performance nor the appearance? Such an empty, hollow feeling.

So, where does that leave me? Well, I'm waiting for problem number three to show itself. I'm holding out hope that I can start a new trend where trouble comes in twos.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to eat myself into a tryptophan-induced coma. Wish me luck!

INGRID MÅNNEITRÅP

Did you get that? Translated, it says "Ingrid Moneytrap", otherwise known as my Volvo. Just when everything seemed right, the power of three has reared it's ugly head and paid a visit, bringing tragedy, contempt, and hatred with it. Nearly Armageddon-Esq in size.

Here's Part One:
Last Tuesday we ventured over to the local oil change establishment. Against my better judgement, I allowed them to replace the wiper blades.
As I was relaxing in the lobby watching "Cars" for the third time this year (it's on a continuous loop - I feel so sorry for the employees - water boarding pales in comparison) I glance over to see Captain Courageous attempting to replace the wiper blade. Had he had aforementioned hero's powers (even just a little) he would have not dropped the wiper assembly sans blade onto the windshield. An unholy thud emanated from the garage. Upon quick inspection, Captain Courageous determined that nothing happened and continued on his mission; two more blades to go. I basked in the false sense of security that flowed forth.
I paid for the yet unknown indiscretion and proceeded on my journey. As I pulled onto the road, the golden hue of the afternoon sun filling my field of vision as I merrily made my way home. Wait, what the????!!!!! Is that? Is that a CRACK!! U-TURN! I feel my blood pressure rise as, again, I pull into the local oil change establishment (nka La isla de los Imbéciles). I eyeball Captain Courageous who, surprisingly, is already making his way to me. I describe to him how life as I know it was going in a positive direction that day and that it had been forever tarnished and stained by his ineptitude at such a menial task. The young Captain's response, "I didn't know if that was there before or not" would have reduced a lesser individual to violence.
As I waited outside pondering the meaning of justifiable homicide, the good Captain returned to inform me that Mission Control would have my windshield replaced at no cost to me (duh). Learn from my misfortune. If it's advertised as an oil change establishment do not take them up on any offer for anything else. You'll only end up disappointed.

Stay tuned for Part Two...